- NEWBIE
Once I came upon this pretty new temporary staff standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, “Yeah, how does this thing work?” I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, “Any questions?” She said, “Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from?”
- Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”
Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”
“Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the cop. “Let’s go.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.”
- My Boss
My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, “Is this what you get paid for?” I told him, “Nope! I do this for free.”
This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read “Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” I couldn’t resist and added a note: “And now you know why too”.
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